English Skill : Communication
How to introduce yourself?
Intermediate level / CECR : B1
1st Part
Video & Vocabulary
2nd Part
Understanding
3rd Part
Grammar
English skills
Communication
- Skills : Improve your presentation and introduction. Identify the post powerful approach to connect with people
- Niveau : B1
- Topic : Communication
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Transcription
Translation
| There’s an ancient and well-known philosophical riddle that asks: “If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it still make a sound?” A scientific view is that, while a tree will make waves in the air, to make a sound, it takes an ear to hear it. My question is, if a person speaks and offers a TED Talk, for example, and no one listens, is that really communication? I believe that listening is the missing half of communication. It is absolutely necessary but often overlooked. We live in an age we call the Age of Communication. Certainly, with cell phones, texts, tweets, and emails, there is a lot of talking going on. But how much listening can there really be with so much interruption and distraction? My passion for the last 30 years has been helping people get to “yes” in very tough negotiations. From family feuds to boardroom battles, from labor strikes to civil wars. I hear a lot of talking, but I don’t hear a lot of real listening. We think of negotiation as being about talking. In fact, it’s really about listening. If you study the behavior of successful negotiators, you find that they listen far more than they talk. After all, we’re given two ears and one mouth for a reason. We should listen at least twice as much as we speak. Why listen? Why is it so important? Let me tell you a story. Why listen Some years ago, I was in the country of Venezuela serving as a third party between the government and the political opposition at a time of intense conflict, with a lot of people fearing a civil war. My colleague, Francisco Diaz and I had an appointment with the President, Hugo Chavez, at 9:00 PM at the Presidential Palace. Finally, at midnight, we were ushered in to see the President who had his entire cabinet arrayed behind him. He asked me: “So, Ury, what do you think of the situation going on here?” I said: “Mr. President, I’ve been talking to your ministers here, to the opposition. I think you’re making some progress.” “Progress? What do you mean progress?” he shouted. “You’re blind. You’re not seeing all the dirty tricks those traitors are up to.” He leaned in very close to my face and proceeded to shout. What was I going to do? Part of me felt like defending myself, naturally. But what good would it do for me to get into an argument with the President of Venezuela? (Laughter) How would that advance peace? So I just listened. I gave him my full attention. I listened to where he was coming from. President Chavez was famous for making eight hour speeches. After 30 minutes of me just nodding and listening, I saw his shoulders slowly sag. He said to me in a very weary tone of voice: “So, Ury, what should I do?” That’s the sound of a human mind opening to listen. I said: “Mr. President, it’s almost Christmas. The country needs a break. Last year, all the festivities were canceled because of the conflict. Why not propose a truce this time so that people can enjoy the holidays with their families? After that, maybe everybody will be in a better mood to listen.” He said: “That’s a great idea. I’m going to announce that in my next speech.” His mood has completely shifted. How? Through the simple power of listening. Because I listened to him, he was more ready to listen to me. There are at least three important reasons why it’s important to listen in any negotiation or conflict. The first is that it helps us understand the other side. Negotiation, after all, is an exercise in influence. You’re trying to change someone else’s mind. How can you possibly change someone else’s mind if you don’t know where their mind is? Listening is key. The second reason is just as important. It helps us connect with the other human being. It helps us build rapport. It builds trust. It shows we care. After all, everybody wants to be heard. The third reason is, as with President Chavez, it makes it more likely that the other person will listen to us. It helps get to “yes.” In short, listening may be the cheapest concession we can make in a negotiation. It costs us nothing, and it brings huge benefits. Listening may be the golden key that opens the door to human relationship. How do we listen? Genuine listening It turns out that we often take listening for granted as something easy and natural. But in fact, at least in my experience, real genuine listening is something that needs to be learned and practiced every day. In ordinary listening, we’re hearing the words. We’re often thinking, “Where do I agree? Where do I disagree? What am I going to say in response?” In other words, the focus is on us. In genuine listening, however, the spotlight moves to the other person. We put ourselves in their shoes. We tune into their wavelength. We listen from within their frame of reference, not just ours. That’s not easy. In genuine listening, we listen not just for what’s being said, but for what’s not being said. Whats behind the words We listen not just to the words, but to what’s behind the words. We listen for the underlying emotions, feelings, and needs. We listen for what that person really needs or wants. Let me give you an example. About a year and a half ago, I was invited to help a Brazilian entrepreneur by the name of Abilio Diniz. He was trapped in a titanic legal dispute with his French business partner over the control of Brazil’s largest retailer. The Financial Times called it perhaps the biggest cross-continental boardroom showdown in recent history. It had gone on for two and a half years. It was immensely costly and stressful, not only to both parties but to their families and the 150,000 employees of the company. When I sat down with Abilio in his home, I listened to his story. After that, I had a question. I said: “Abilio, help me understand here. What do you really want?” He said: “Well, I want the stock at a certain price. I want the company headquarters. I want the elimination of the non-compete clause.” He gave me a list. As I listened, I heard something deeper there that was unspoken. I asked him: “Abilio, you’re a man who seems to have everything. What are these things really going to give you? What do you most want in your life?” He paused for a moment and thought about it. Finally, he said: “Freedom. I want my freedom. I want to be free to pursue my business dreams. I want to be free to spend time with my family.” That was it. I was hearing the human being behind the words not just the champion businessman. Once we were clear about his deepest need, then the negotiation itself, while challenging, became a lot easier. In four short days, my colleagues and I, by listening to the other side, were able to take this titanic dispute and resolve it with a settlement that left both sides highly satisfied. As Abilio being a friend in the process later told me, “I got everything I wanted. But most importantly, I got my life back.” How did that happen? Through the simple power of listening. If listening is so useful, why isn’t everyone doing it? Why isnt everyone listening To tell you the truth, it’s not so easy. If I reflect on my own experience for a moment, there are times when I feel like I’m listening pretty well in my work, only to go home and find out I’m not listening so well to my wife. It’s humbling. I can tell you. The real problem in the way, what makes it so hard to listen is that there is so much going on in our minds. There is so much noise and distraction that we don’t have the mental and emotional space to be able to truly listen to the other side. How do we clear our minds? It may seem odd, but the secret is, if we want to listen to the other side, we have to learn to listen to ourselves first. When I was sitting there with President Chavez, what really helped me was that, just beforehand, I had taken a few moments of quiet to pay attention to what was going on for me. I listened to myself to quiet my mind. When he began shouting, I was ready. I could notice that my cheeks were reddening, and my jaw was a little clenched. I felt some fear and anxiety. By paying attention to those sensations and emotions, I was able to let them go, so that I could truly listen to President Chavez. What if, before an important, delicate or sensitive conversation, we took a moment of silence just to tune in and listen to where we are? I believe that if we did that, if we truly listened to ourselves first, we would find it a lot easier to listen to others. The final question is, if we listened more, what difference would it make in the world? I believe it would make a huge difference. In the course of my mediation work, I personally witnessed the enormous cost of conflict, the broken relationships, families, the stressed out work places, the ruinous law suits, and the senseless wars. What always strikes me is the biggest opportunity we have actually, is to prevent these conflicts even before they start. How do we do that? It’s not easy, but it almost always starts with one simple step. Listening. This is my dream. A listening revolution that can turn this Age of Communication into an Age of Listening. In other words, an age of true communication. What if we taught listening Imagine for a moment a world in which every child learns to listen at an early age. What if we taught listening in school, like we teach reading, as a core skill? After all, listening is how you read people. Imagine a world in which parents learn to listen to their children. What better way after all, is there for us to teach our children to listen to us than for us to listen to them? What better way for us to show our children that they truly matter? What better way is there to show our love? As an extra bonus, maybe we’d see happier marriages and fewer divorces, as couples learned to listen to each other. Imagine a world in which leaders learned how to listen to their people. What if we chose leaders based on their ability to listen, not just talk? What if listening became the norm in our organizations and not just the exception? What if on radio and TV we had not just talk shows, but listen shows? (Laughter) What if we had not just peace talks, but peace listens? I firmly believe that we’d get to ‘yes’ a lot more often. We might not eliminate all conflict, but we would avert a lot of fights and wars. Everybody would be much better off. I, very happily, might be out of a job. That’s my dream. While it may seem audacious, it’s not that complicated. Listening can be a chain reaction in which each person who is genuinely listened to feels naturally inspired to listen to the next. Listening can be contagious. I invite you to start this chain reaction today, right here, right now. In your next conversation with a colleague, client, partner, or child, a friend or a stranger, give them your full attention. Listen to the human being behind the words. One of the biggest gifts we can give anyone is the gift of being heard. With the simple power of listening now, we can transform our relationships, our families, and our world for the better, ear by ear. Thank you for listening. |
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| There’s an ancient and well-known philosophical riddle that asks: “If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it still make a sound?” A scientific view is that, while a tree will make waves in the air, to make a sound, it takes an ear to hear it. My question is, if a person speaks and offers a TED Talk, for example, and no one listens, is that really communication? I believe that listening is the missing half of communication. It is absolutely necessary but often overlooked. We live in an age we call the Age of Communication. Certainly, with cell phones, texts, tweets, and emails, there is a lot of talking going on. But how much listening can there really be with so much interruption and distraction? My passion for the last 30 years has been helping people get to “yes” in very tough negotiations. From family feuds to boardroom battles, from labor strikes to civil wars. I hear a lot of talking, but I don’t hear a lot of real listening. We think of negotiation as being about talking. In fact, it’s really about listening. If you study the behavior of successful negotiators, you find that they listen far more than they talk. After all, we’re given two ears and one mouth for a reason. We should listen at least twice as much as we speak. Why listen? Why is it so important? Let me tell you a story. Why listen Some years ago, I was in the country of Venezuela serving as a third party between the government and the political opposition at a time of intense conflict, with a lot of people fearing a civil war. My colleague, Francisco Diaz and I had an appointment with the President, Hugo Chavez, at 9:00 PM at the Presidential Palace. Finally, at midnight, we were ushered in to see the President who had his entire cabinet arrayed behind him. He asked me: “So, Ury, what do you think of the situation going on here?” I said: “Mr. President, I’ve been talking to your ministers here, to the opposition. I think you’re making some progress.” “Progress? What do you mean progress?” he shouted. “You’re blind. You’re not seeing all the dirty tricks those traitors are up to.” He leaned in very close to my face and proceeded to shout. What was I going to do? Part of me felt like defending myself, naturally. But what good would it do for me to get into an argument with the President of Venezuela? (Laughter) How would that advance peace? So I just listened. I gave him my full attention. I listened to where he was coming from. President Chavez was famous for making eight hour speeches. After 30 minutes of me just nodding and listening, I saw his shoulders slowly sag. He said to me in a very weary tone of voice: “So, Ury, what should I do?” That’s the sound of a human mind opening to listen. I said: “Mr. President, it’s almost Christmas. The country needs a break. Last year, all the festivities were canceled because of the conflict. Why not propose a truce this time so that people can enjoy the holidays with their families? After that, maybe everybody will be in a better mood to listen.” He said: “That’s a great idea. I’m going to announce that in my next speech.” His mood has completely shifted. How? Through the simple power of listening. Because I listened to him, he was more ready to listen to me. There are at least three important reasons why it’s important to listen in any negotiation or conflict. The first is that it helps us understand the other side. Negotiation, after all, is an exercise in influence. You’re trying to change someone else’s mind. How can you possibly change someone else’s mind if you don’t know where their mind is? Listening is key. The second reason is just as important. It helps us connect with the other human being. It helps us build rapport. It builds trust. It shows we care. After all, everybody wants to be heard. The third reason is, as with President Chavez, it makes it more likely that the other person will listen to us. It helps get to “yes.” In short, listening may be the cheapest concession we can make in a negotiation. It costs us nothing, and it brings huge benefits. Listening may be the golden key that opens the door to human relationship. How do we listen? Genuine listening It turns out that we often take listening for granted as something easy and natural. But in fact, at least in my experience, real genuine listening is something that needs to be learned and practiced every day. In ordinary listening, we’re hearing the words. We’re often thinking, “Where do I agree? Where do I disagree? What am I going to say in response?” In other words, the focus is on us. In genuine listening, however, the spotlight moves to the other person. We put ourselves in their shoes. We tune into their wavelength. We listen from within their frame of reference, not just ours. That’s not easy. In genuine listening, we listen not just for what’s being said, but for what’s not being said. Whats behind the words We listen not just to the words, but to what’s behind the words. We listen for the underlying emotions, feelings, and needs. We listen for what that person really needs or wants. Let me give you an example. About a year and a half ago, I was invited to help a Brazilian entrepreneur by the name of Abilio Diniz. He was trapped in a titanic legal dispute with his French business partner over the control of Brazil’s largest retailer. The Financial Times called it perhaps the biggest cross-continental boardroom showdown in recent history. It had gone on for two and a half years. It was immensely costly and stressful, not only to both parties but to their families and the 150,000 employees of the company. When I sat down with Abilio in his home, I listened to his story. After that, I had a question. I said: “Abilio, help me understand here. What do you really want?” He said: “Well, I want the stock at a certain price. I want the company headquarters. I want the elimination of the non-compete clause.” He gave me a list. As I listened, I heard something deeper there that was unspoken. I asked him: “Abilio, you’re a man who seems to have everything. What are these things really going to give you? What do you most want in your life?” He paused for a moment and thought about it. Finally, he said: “Freedom. I want my freedom. I want to be free to pursue my business dreams. I want to be free to spend time with my family.” That was it. I was hearing the human being behind the words not just the champion businessman. Once we were clear about his deepest need, then the negotiation itself, while challenging, became a lot easier. In four short days, my colleagues and I, by listening to the other side, were able to take this titanic dispute and resolve it with a settlement that left both sides highly satisfied. As Abilio being a friend in the process later told me, “I got everything I wanted. But most importantly, I got my life back.” How did that happen? Through the simple power of listening. If listening is so useful, why isn’t everyone doing it? Why isnt everyone listening To tell you the truth, it’s not so easy. If I reflect on my own experience for a moment, there are times when I feel like I’m listening pretty well in my work, only to go home and find out I’m not listening so well to my wife. It’s humbling. I can tell you. The real problem in the way, what makes it so hard to listen is that there is so much going on in our minds. There is so much noise and distraction that we don’t have the mental and emotional space to be able to truly listen to the other side. How do we clear our minds? It may seem odd, but the secret is, if we want to listen to the other side, we have to learn to listen to ourselves first. When I was sitting there with President Chavez, what really helped me was that, just beforehand, I had taken a few moments of quiet to pay attention to what was going on for me. I listened to myself to quiet my mind. When he began shouting, I was ready. I could notice that my cheeks were reddening, and my jaw was a little clenched. I felt some fear and anxiety. By paying attention to those sensations and emotions, I was able to let them go, so that I could truly listen to President Chavez. What if, before an important, delicate or sensitive conversation, we took a moment of silence just to tune in and listen to where we are? I believe that if we did that, if we truly listened to ourselves first, we would find it a lot easier to listen to others. The final question is, if we listened more, what difference would it make in the world? I believe it would make a huge difference. In the course of my mediation work, I personally witnessed the enormous cost of conflict, the broken relationships, families, the stressed out work places, the ruinous law suits, and the senseless wars. What always strikes me is the biggest opportunity we have actually, is to prevent these conflicts even before they start. How do we do that? It’s not easy, but it almost always starts with one simple step. Listening. This is my dream. A listening revolution that can turn this Age of Communication into an Age of Listening. In other words, an age of true communication. What if we taught listening Imagine for a moment a world in which every child learns to listen at an early age. What if we taught listening in school, like we teach reading, as a core skill? After all, listening is how you read people. Imagine a world in which parents learn to listen to their children. What better way after all, is there for us to teach our children to listen to us than for us to listen to them? What better way for us to show our children that they truly matter? What better way is there to show our love? As an extra bonus, maybe we’d see happier marriages and fewer divorces, as couples learned to listen to each other. Imagine a world in which leaders learned how to listen to their people. What if we chose leaders based on their ability to listen, not just talk? What if listening became the norm in our organizations and not just the exception? What if on radio and TV we had not just talk shows, but listen shows? (Laughter) What if we had not just peace talks, but peace listens? I firmly believe that we’d get to ‘yes’ a lot more often. We might not eliminate all conflict, but we would avert a lot of fights and wars. Everybody would be much better off. I, very happily, might be out of a job. That’s my dream. While it may seem audacious, it’s not that complicated. Listening can be a chain reaction in which each person who is genuinely listened to feels naturally inspired to listen to the next. Listening can be contagious. I invite you to start this chain reaction today, right here, right now. In your next conversation with a colleague, client, partner, or child, a friend or a stranger, give them your full attention. Listen to the human being behind the words. One of the biggest gifts we can give anyone is the gift of being heard. With the simple power of listening now, we can transform our relationships, our families, and our world for the better, ear by ear. Thank you for listening. | Une énigme philosophique ancienne et bien connue pose la question suivante : “Si un arbre tombe dans la forêt et que personne n’est là pour l’entendre, fait-il quand même un bruit ?” D’un point de vue scientifique, un arbre émet des ondes dans l’air, pour qu’il y ait un son, il faut une oreille pour l’entendre. Ma question est la suivante, si une personne parle et propose un TED Talk, par exemple, et que personne n’écoute, est-ce vraiment de la communication ? Je pense que l’écoute est la moitié manquante de la communication. Elle est absolument nécessaire, mais souvent négligée. Nous vivons à une époque que nous appelons l’ère de la communication. Certes, avec les téléphones portables, les textes, les tweets et les courriels, il y a beaucoup de discussions. Mais dans quelle mesure peut-on vraiment écouter ? avec autant d’interruptions et de distractions ? Depuis 30 ans, ma passion est d’aider les gens à obtenir un “oui” dans des négociations très difficiles. dans des négociations très difficiles. Qu’il s’agisse de querelles familiales, de batailles dans les conseils d’administration, de grèves ou de guerres civiles. J’entends beaucoup parler, mais je n’entends pas beaucoup écouter. Nous pensons que la négociation consiste à parler. En réalité, il s’agit surtout d’écouter. Si vous étudiez le comportement des négociateurs qui réussissent, on s’aperçoit qu’ils écoutent beaucoup plus qu’ils ne parlent. Après tout, ce n’est pas pour rien que nous avons deux oreilles et une bouche. Nous devrions écouter au moins deux fois plus que nous ne parlons. Pourquoi écouter ? Pourquoi est-ce si important ? Laissez-moi vous raconter une histoire. Pourquoi écouter ? Il y a quelques années, je me trouvais au Venezuela où je servais de tierce partie entre le gouvernement et l’opposition politique à une époque de conflit intense, où beaucoup de gens craignaient une guerre civile. Mon collègue Francisco Diaz et moi-même avions rendez-vous avec le président, Hugo Chavez, à 21 heures au palais présidentiel. Finalement, à minuit, nous avons été introduits pour voir le président qui avait tout son cabinet derrière lui. Il m’a demandé : “Alors, Ury, qu’est-ce que tu veux faire ? “Alors, Ury, que pensez-vous de la situation ici ?” J’ai répondu : “Monsieur le Président, j’ai parlé à vos ministres, à l’opposition. Je pense que vous faites des progrès.” “Des progrès ? Comment ça, des progrès ?”, a-t-il crié. “Vous êtes aveugle. Tu ne vois pas tous les sales coups que ces traîtres sont en train de faire.” Il s’est penché très près de mon visage et a continué à crier. Qu’allais-je faire ? Une partie de moi avait envie de se défendre, bien sûr. Mais à quoi cela me servirait-il à me disputer avec le président du Venezuela ? (Rires) En quoi cela ferait-il avancer la paix ? J’ai donc simplement écouté. Je lui ai accordé toute mon attention. J’ai écouté ce qu’il avait à dire. Le président Chavez était connu pour faire des discours de huit heures. Au bout de 30 minutes, j’ai hoché la tête et je l’ai écouté, j’ai vu ses épaules s’affaisser lentement. Il m’a dit d’un ton très las : “Alors, Ury, que dois-je faire ?”. C’est le son d’un esprit humain qui s’ouvre pour écouter. Je lui ai répondu : “Monsieur le Président, c’est bientôt Noël. Le pays a besoin d’une pause. L’année dernière, toutes les festivités ont été annulées à cause du conflit. Pourquoi ne pas proposer une trêve cette fois-ci pour que les gens puissent profiter des fêtes en famille ? Après cela, peut-être que tout le monde sera de meilleure humeur pour écouter”. Il a dit : “C’est une bonne idée : “C’est une excellente idée. Je vais l’annoncer dans mon prochain discours.” Son humeur a complètement changé. Comment ? Par le simple pouvoir de l’écoute. Parce que je l’ai écouté, il était plus disposé à m’écouter. Il y a au moins trois raisons importantes pour lesquelles il est important d’écouter lors d’une négociation ou d’un conflit. La première est qu’elle nous aide à comprendre l’autre partie. Après tout, la négociation est un exercice d’influence. Vous essayez de faire changer d’avis quelqu’un d’autre. Comment pouvez-vous faire changer d’avis quelqu’un d’autre si vous ne savez pas où se trouve son esprit ? L’écoute est essentielle. La deuxième raison est tout aussi importante. Elle nous aide à entrer en contact avec l’autre être humain. Elle nous aide à établir un rapport. Elle permet d’instaurer la confiance. Elle montre que nous nous intéressons à l’autre. Après tout, tout le monde veut être entendu. La troisième raison est, comme pour le président Chavez, qu’il est plus probable que l’autre personne nous écoute, il y a plus de chances que l’autre personne nous écoute. Elle aide à obtenir un “oui”. En bref, écouter peut être la concession la moins chère que l’on peut faire dans une négociation. Elle ne nous coûte rien et apporte d’énormes avantages. L’écoute est peut-être la clé d’or qui ouvre la porte des relations humaines. Comment écouter ? L’écoute véritable Il s’avère que nous considérons souvent l’écoute comme allant de soi comme quelque chose de facile et de naturel. Mais en fait, du moins d’après mon expérience, l’écoute véritable est quelque chose qui doit être appris et pratiqué chaque jour. qu’il faut apprendre et pratiquer tous les jours. Dans l’écoute ordinaire, nous entendons les mots. Nous pensons souvent : “Où suis-je d’accord ? Où suis-je en désaccord ? Que vais-je dire en réponse ?” En d’autres termes, nous sommes au centre de l’attention. Dans une écoute authentique, cependant, les projecteurs se déplacent vers l’autre personne. Nous nous mettons à sa place. Nous nous mettons sur sa longueur d’onde. Nous écoutons à partir de son cadre de référence, et pas seulement du nôtre. Ce n’est pas facile. Dans l’écoute authentique, nous écoutons non seulement ce qui est dit, mais aussi ce qui n’est pas dit, mais aussi ce qui n’est pas dit. Ce qui se cache derrière les mots Nous écoutons non seulement les mots, mais aussi ce qu’il y a derrière les mots. Nous écoutons les émotions, les sentiments et les besoins sous-jacents. Nous écoutons ce dont la personne a réellement besoin ou ce qu’elle veut. Permettez-moi de vous donner un exemple. Il y a environ un an et demi, j’ai été invité à aider un entrepreneur brésilien du nom d’Abilio Diniz. Il était pris au piège d’un conflit juridique titanesque avec son partenaire français pour le contrôle du plus grand détaillant du Brésil. Le Financial Times a dit qu’il s’agissait peut-être le plus grand affrontement intercontinental de l’histoire récente. Le conflit durait depuis deux ans et demi. Elle a été extrêmement coûteuse et stressante, non seulement pour les deux parties, mais aussi pour leurs familles et les 150 000 employés de l’entreprise. Lorsque j’ai rencontré Abilio chez lui, j’ai écouté son histoire. Ensuite, j’ai posé une question. J’ai dit : “Abilio, aide-moi à comprendre ce qui s’est passé : “Abilio, aide-moi à comprendre. Que voulez-vous vraiment ?” Il m’a répondu : “Eh bien, je veux les actions à un certain prix. Je veux le siège de la société. Je veux être libre de poursuivre mes rêves professionnels. Je veux être libre de passer du temps avec ma famille”. C’est tout. J’entendais l’être humain derrière les mots et pas seulement le champion des affaires. Une fois que nous avons compris ses besoins les plus profonds, la négociation elle-même, bien que difficile, est devenue beaucoup plus facile. En quatre jours à peine, mes collègues et moi-même avons réussi à comprendre les besoins profonds de l’homme, en écoutant l’autre partie, avons réussi à régler ce différend titanesque et de le résoudre par un accord qui a laissé les deux parties très satisfaites. Comme me l’a dit plus tard Abilio, un ami qui a participé à la procédure, “j’ai obtenu tout ce que je voulais, “J’ai obtenu tout ce que je voulais. Mais le plus important, c’est que j’ai retrouvé ma vie.” Comment cela s’est-il produit ? Grâce au simple pouvoir de l’écoute. Si l’écoute est si utile, pourquoi tout le monde ne le fait-il pas ? Pourquoi tout le monde n’écoute-t-il pas ? À vrai dire, ce n’est pas si facile. Si je réfléchis un instant à ma propre expérience, il y a des moments où j’ai l’impression de bien écouter dans mon travail, pour me rendre compte, en rentrant chez moi, que je n’écoute pas très bien ma femme. C’est une leçon d’humilité. Je peux vous le dire. Le vrai problème, ce qui rend l’écoute si difficile, c’est qu’il y a tellement de choses à faire. c’est qu’il se passe tellement de choses dans notre esprit. Il y a tellement de bruit et de distractions que nous n’avons pas l’espace mental et émotionnel nécessaire pour pouvoir vraiment écouter l’autre partie. Comment faire le vide dans notre esprit ? Cela peut sembler étrange, mais le secret est le suivant, si nous voulons écouter l’autre partie, nous devons d’abord apprendre à nous écouter nous-mêmes. Lorsque j’étais assis avec le président Chavez, ce qui m’a vraiment aidé, c’est que, juste avant, j’avais pris quelques instants de calme pour faire attention à ce qui se passait en moi. Je me suis écouté pour calmer mon esprit. Lorsqu’il a commencé à crier, j’étais prête. J’ai remarqué que mes joues rougissaient, et que ma mâchoire était un peu serrée. J’ai ressenti de la peur et de l’anxiété. En prêtant attention à ces sensations et à ces émotions, j’ai pu les laisser partir, pour pouvoir vraiment écouter le président Chavez. Et si, avant une conversation importante, délicate ou sensible, nous prenions un moment de silence pour nous mettre à l’écoute de ce que nous sommes ? Je crois que si nous faisions cela, si nous nous écoutions vraiment d’abord nous-mêmes, nous aurions beaucoup plus de facilité à écouter les autres. La dernière question est la suivante : si nous écoutions davantage, quelle différence cela ferait-il dans le monde ? quelle différence cela ferait-il dans le monde ? Je pense que cela ferait une énorme différence. Dans le cadre de mon travail de médiation, j’ai personnellement été témoin du coût énorme des conflits, les relations et les familles brisées, les lieux de travail stressés, les procès ruineux et les guerres insensées. Ce qui me frappe toujours, c’est que la plus grande opportunité que nous ayons en fait, est de prévenir ces conflits avant même qu’ils ne commencent. Comment y parvenir ? Ce n’est pas facile, mais cela commence presque toujours par une étape simple. Écouter. C’est mon rêve. Une révolution de l’écoute qui peut transformer l’ère de la communication en une ère de l’écoute. En d’autres termes, une ère de véritable communication. Et si nous enseignions l’écoute Imaginez un instant un monde. dans lequel chaque enfant apprend à écouter dès son plus jeune âge. Et si nous enseignions l’écoute à l’école, comme on enseigne la lecture, en tant que compétence de base ? Après tout, c’est en écoutant qu’on lit les gens. Imaginez un monde où les parents apprennent à écouter leurs enfants. Après tout, quel meilleur moyen d’apprendre à nos enfants à nous écouter que de les écouter nous-mêmes ? que de les écouter ? Quelle meilleure façon de montrer à nos enfants qu’ils comptent vraiment ? Quelle meilleure façon de leur montrer notre amour ? En prime, peut-être verrons-nous des mariages plus heureux et moins de divorces, car les couples apprendraient à s’écouter l’un l’autre. Imaginez un monde dans lequel les dirigeants apprendraient à écouter leurs collaborateurs. Et si nous choisissions les dirigeants en fonction de leur capacité à écouter, et pas seulement à parler ? Et si l’écoute devenait la norme dans nos organisations et non l’exception ? Et si, à la radio et à la télévision nous n’avions pas seulement des émissions de discussion, mais des émissions d’écoute Et si nous n’avions pas seulement des pourparlers de paix, mais des écoutes de paix ? Je suis fermement convaincu que nous parviendrions à dire “oui” beaucoup plus souvent. Nous n’éliminerions peut-être pas tous les conflits, mais nous éviterions beaucoup de combats et de guerres. Tout le monde s’en porterait beaucoup mieux. Moi, très heureusement, je pourrais me retrouver sans emploi. C’est mon rêve. Bien qu’il puisse sembler audacieux, ce n’est pas si compliqué. L’écoute peut être une réaction en chaîne dans laquelle chaque personne qui est véritablement écoutée se sent naturellement inspirée pour écouter la suivante. L’écoute peut être contagieuse. Je vous invite à commencer cette réaction en chaîne dès aujourd’hui, ici et maintenant. Lors de votre prochaine conversation avec un collègue, un collègue, un client, un partenaire ou un enfant, un ami ou un inconnu, accordez-lui toute votre attention. Écoutez l’être humain qui se cache derrière les mots. L’un des plus grands cadeaux que nous puissions faire à quelqu’un est celui d’être entendu. Avec le simple pouvoir d’écouter maintenant, nous pouvons transformer nos relations, nos familles et notre monde pour le meilleur, oreille par oreille. Merci de m’avoir écouté. |
