Innovate the way you communicate

you know when I was a boy um I didn’t

really know my father I grew up in

Sydney and uh I lived there until I was

13 years old and um my dad was one of

these men who growing up he had this

pretty good job in Sydney and he’d be

gone before I got up in the morning when

it was still dark he had come home in

the afternoon again it probably still

dark was around at night and so you

know I didn’t really get to know this

person at all to me he was just this um

cranky man that I got to see on the

weekends usually did the lawn and other

than that you just did clear of him

because you didn’t want to get in his

way he might say something to you and um

you know I went through this whole life

and just wondering actually who is this

particular person unbeknownst to me at

the time when I was around about 11

years old my father had been going to

the doctor and he had high blood

pressure and the doctor was been saying

to him look it’s getting worse and worse

you’ve got to get out of the job you’re

in it’s too high stress you’ve got to do

something with your life you know make

sure you have a change here you’ve got

to address it or us you’re going to have

a heart attack and you’re going to

die so um when I turned 13 mom and dad

just said hey we’re moving like I was

like oh this is good well we’re in the

western suburbs of Sydney near param

meta and we end up moving to this

beautiful little country gold mining

town called

gimpy and so just out past the Southside

there at lsh right down in the bottom of

this Valley mom and dad ended up buying

this house with 5 Acres there for me

this was absolutely brilliant you this

is fantastic this was an Adventure Land

I’ve been through this whole process you

know growing up and just houses

everywhere I always looked at books

looked at farms I loved animals I just

wanted this life and all of a sudden

this life was mine that first Christmas

was a real eye opener for me because

what I end up discovering is this old

man who I thought was a real cranky

person wasn’t too bad actually it was

actually pretty funny not just that I

notic he had the same sense of humor as

me you know he was quite a jovial person

it’s really interesting you know he’s

the sort of person that would laugh like

if you you hurt yourself rather than

actually asking if you were right he

would laugh at it especially if it was

something stupid and I did a lot of

stupid things when I was a kid I can

tell you right now it’s funny cuz now I

laugh at my kids for doing stupid things

um but he ended up turning out to be

what this jovial person he had quite

this dry sense of humor and you know I

really got to know him I really enjoyed

being around him and was a real surprise

for me the first day I went to school in

gimpy I went to gimpy High I came home

on the bus and I’ve looked out the

window and his dad standing at the front

gate with this white goat on a

tether and I’ve looked I’ve got up the

bus and I’ve looked and I going what’s

going on man he’s like I bought a goat

I’m like yeah I can see that I said

what’s its name and he goes spotty I’m

thinking yeah it’s a white goat so you

call it spotty you know great idea that

sort of explains the sort of person that

my dad

was over the next 5 or six years I

really got to know my dad well you know

we end up becoming these best mates who

had these great conversations he was

such an intelligent person he was this

wise person and um I really appreciated

my relationship with him not just that

it was really quite bizarre because this

goat SP he came to represent his renewed

life and Dad spent so many hours walking

around the farm just Dragon spotty along

behind him that the do goat actually

used to start following him around the

farm so it was great every weekend we’d

be there I’d be offer in ADV ventes I’d

come home and here’s dad and spotty just

getting around somewhere the farm always

having a bit of fun this one particular

day I woke up before school and I’ve

walked down to the paddock and I’ve gone

to move to spotty’s tether and through

the night she jumped up into the sapling

tree slipped down and a leg had got

caught and she’d snapped a leg and when

I got down there I lift her out of the

tree but I realized straight away that

she had died and uh I thought straight

away you know alarm Bells R I thought oh

gee how’s Dad going to react to this and

I ran up to the house I going straight

inside and I told joh I said look spot’s

dead um and he just went straight to the

bedroom and I knew straight away that he

was hurt because he didn’t even want to

see us about 15 minutes later he came

back out and he goes look son can you

stay home and bury spotty for me I just

can’t do it I’ve got to go to work and I

said yeah yeah Dad it’s fine off you go

so uh I took the day off school it was a

pretty warm day I’ve gone down to the

padic of course being the young stupid

fellow I was I didn’t take any water or

anything I picked the middle of the

padic got the shovel out and start

digging in the ground and it was like

rock and after an hour I was dying of

dehydration it was in the middle of the

day is just burning I got the whole to

about this deep and I just could not go

any further so I gra old poor old spotty

and I dragged her over and I put her in

the hole and just covered it over with

dirt I’ve gone up to the house that

afternoon dad gets home and goes to you

bury and I said yeah and he goes did you

put a cross up and I said oh no I forgot

I had even thought for a second that he

might want to cross that he could

actually go down and see the grave I

said look I’ll do it Tom goes no no mate

it’s all right it’s all right don’t

worry about it 2 weeks to the day later

I was um at my girlfriend’s Place who

happens to be my wife now she’s in the

crowd and her mom so I was at their

place and um I get this phone call and

it was my mother and she said look son

your father’s had a heart attack go

straight to the hospital and she said

don’t get your hopes up mate because

it’s pretty bad and you know my world

crumbled show I thought gee you know

this is it something you know this is

what’s what’s going to happen I finally

get to know this person I’m going to

lose him I went to the hospital I’d

already called my sister and she was at

the hospital as well she’ talked to the

nurses and she came out and she was

balling and I knew the second I looked

at her that dad was gone and she was

shook her head and I just crumbled to

the ground you know I finally got to

know this person this is five or six

years of really becoming best mates with

this man and he was gone and I had no

idea at any inking at all that there had

been something wrong with him well I was

distraught and I I was devastated and as

anyone who’s lost someone you know you

go through this process of just looking

for a sign looking for something and

even though I told my father that I

loved him a lot of times I still felt

like I needed something more I needed a

sign just from him to let let me know

that hey I love you too son it’s all

right and about five or six weeks went

on and the season started to change the

farm you know the grass turned brown and

everything started to die it was a bit

like my mood it’s like as soon as he

died everything started to die as well

about 6 weeks later I was up the back of

the yard I was feeding the chickens so

I’m up there I’m throwing around the

chicken food and I just happened to look

down at the paddock and here is this

bright green patch of grass just perfect

round right in the middle of the padic

and I just thought this is it it’s the

life this is the sign I’ve been waiting

for I just dropped that chicken feed and

I went running down the Verge Down The

Paddock and the grass is there and I

came straight up and I just jumped on it

and the second my feet went through the

ground I realized my mistake there was

this big pop and something went all over

my

face by the time my feet hit the bottom

of that hole I was up to about there in

spotty’s

carcass now you think being waste deep

in a goat’s carcass is

bad you wait you smell

it cuz the next thing that happened is I

went and I just started vomiting all

over myself now we got to get this

picture right here because unfortunately

my arms had gone in as well now I’m not

going to tell you what color they were

and it was one of the nightmares from

the movies where you can’t get out of

the hole I was sort of like this and I

kept spping I having to grab behind me

clumps of grass and drag myself back of

course I finally get out of this hole

and I know where the creek is so I just

take a BWI for the creek I couldn’t even

breathe because the smell was so

horrendous and I’m boiling my eyes out

because this is a sign from my

father so I did this big bomb drive off

the bank into the water and I just the

water and I oh I Shing my legs and stuff

the funny thing is is that you know when

I finally got my head out of the water

that day I swear that I could hear

someone

laughing and to

me I received the sign that I was

looking for and that was the

sign okay uh good morning I am Dr Greg

Nash and

uh yes uh I’m a Lector in communication

but as we’ve said I’m also a baker a

pastry cook and a cake decorator and I

never forget where I came from now

stories make us who we are and we live

in a place this rural community is a

place of such Rich vibrant stories such

a history of stories especially with a

history like imp’s

got I’m on this Crusade at the moment to

get people to embrace public speaking

skills and the thing with public

speaking is that story plays a big part

in it story is so important because

story builds trust story is what

connects you to the

audience um I just want to tell you a

couple of a little bit about my history

one of the first times I ever did public

speaking was in 2006 it was fairly

important I was at the bris Writers

Festival and the reason that I’m telling

you this is because I want you to see

that learning how to talk is really

important it is a learned SK skill so

what actually happened with that

particular time I went down there and I

was with my uh wife and my daughters I

was really nervous about it because

there was some really po important

people in the crowd and I wanted to

impress them i’ had written a bit of

stuff so I actually had to talk about it

um and it was horrific I was up the

front there and I was shaking I was

shaking so much that I couldn’t even

read what I had written and um of course

the voice was a real issue too and I’m

going to break this down slowly for you

the thing the way that I really knew

that I had stuffed it up was because at

the end of it my daughter came up to me

and said dad you sound like you’re going

to cry I was like I was like yeah thanks

for that I feel so much better now and

uh but it dawned on me that hey what

happened to me I know how to communicate

I talk to people all the time I know how

to do this what happened to me when I

actually got the front here so today my

challenge to you is I want to innovate

the way that you communicate I want you

to embrace public speaking skills and as

we’ve seen today people like to listen

to people and this is really hard

because we are all communicators believe

it or not we are experts of

communication that’s the one profession

we all have we all do it every day from

as soon as we wake up till the moment we

go to bed but there’s a couple of things

that we have to think about here first

of all in terms of public speaking and

we’re talking about um we’re talking

about storytelling here this really

comes back to Aristotle’s the art of

persuasion now he has these three main

things here ethos logos and pathos ethos

is the appeal to credibility logos is

logic now logic always takes the big

picture in public speaking you know you

want to be logical in what you’re saying

cuz you don’t want to come across as

being stupid you know you got to know

what you’re saying ethos it takes a real

back back seat this is credibility so

this is about who am I what Authority do

I have to speak on this what information

am I using and where did I get this

information and then finally there’s

Pathos and pathos is the big one and

that’s the appeal to the emotions of the

audience you know the appeal to emotion

now in public speaking appeal to emotion

is Paramount because trust is the big

issue here you want to gain trust with

the audience and storytelling is the

best way to appeal to emotion as you’re

going to see the other thing we have to

think about is is the way we communicate

and the way we communicate in terms of

actual communication 70% of

communication is non-verbal so it’s how

you actually tell the

story so what I’m going to do here is

just look at a couple of little things

that I’ve just noticed with you guys

today and with what happens up here the

difference between informal and formal

public speaking just today I’ve seen

little groups on the brakes outside and

you’re all in these groups and you’re

speaking some are big groups some are

small

groups just going to let you know right

now that’s public speaking you’re out

there you’re telling stories to each

other you’re talking about your

experiences you are actually doing it

you’re doing exactly what I’m doing now

but you’re doing it in an informal

fashion what we got to do is take the

communication that happens in that

informal realm and we’ve got to move to

this formal realm right here so what

might happen out there is you might be

talking about the weekend about your

fishing trip and you’re saying you

should have been there it was Unreal

we’re all just sitting there talking

we’re on the back of the boat next

minute he’s just like he’s holding he’s

just like this you know it was Unreal

we’re all screaming at him Yahoo and and

when he finally got it him man this

thing was this big now if I had seen you

actually doing that out there and I

walked up to you and said hey can I get

to you when I’m doing my speech just to

come up and tell that story two things

probably would have happened first you

would have vomited in your mouth because

you would have gone oh well I’m not

going to get up there

and the second thing is is if you were

going to do it you would have gone oh

yeah I suppose I could do that you would

get up here and all of that wonderful

communication would abandon you you’d be

gone what would end up happening is

actually you’d get up the front here now

we know how beautiful it was out here

but as soon as you stand up here you

look at the crowd and you’re sort of

like oh je you know you work out pretty

quick hey I put my hands in my pockets I

can hide them well this isn’t so bad I

can hide something it doesn’t take too

long when you just start talking that if

you put one leg in front of the other

one well I can hide one of my legs this

isn’t too

bad and so all of a sudden we start

crumpling up you know I can almost hide

my head inside here if I’m and hey they

won’t be able to tell how fat I am if I

turn

sideways and The Voice doesn’t work so

it would be yeah we’re in fishing on the

weekend with my mate and um we caught a

really big fish it was

fun so what actually goes on here we got

to look at a couple of things let’s

let’s break it down a bit The Stance how

do you stand when you’re public speaking

well the first thing you do is you come

out here and you think how am I going to

stand I’ve never been in front of an

audience before this is really bad so

you going sort of you know your arms

don’t know what to do with your arms hey

the best thing to do is spread your legs

stand ight get your hands especially if

you’re nervous cuz they’re going to be

shaking L clamp them together and pop

them in front of you this is important

and the reason I’m letting you know this

is because voices in the community work

you know you want to be a good public

speaker so these are easy little skills

subtle things that work so you can put

put your hands in front of you and this

isn’t too bad got to be careful of Mr

leg though because if you’re holding all

of that nerves in there Mr leg is going

to get out the side here and start

shaking but there is a good thing with

that too because your Stan is going to

work with that first of all you’ll find

with the hands in the middle here if you

do get into a story in man they

fantastic because you own these you know

them your body knows how to communicate

after a little while you’ll start

talking and one hand will pop out here

and then the other hand all of a sudden

you’re conducting the orchestra and you

haven’t even realized what happened the

fish was this big you know it’s great

but the other thing is maybe small

movements and you’ll notice if you

actually watch this whether it’s online

or something of me I’ve I’ve gone all

over the place I’ve used this whole

Space here it’s great for your nervous

energy you know I’m a little bit nervous

but these subtle little movements here

they actually change your focus of where

you are the other thing here is your

gestures how do you move your arms your

face you got to be careful you don’t get

like floppy arms all the way out there

so not too pronounced but just nice

small ones you know Kevin R he used to

have his little pointer the pointer is

great you know to actually have the

pointer there a bit of this and a bit of

that you make a big point you get the

one finger in there cuz that’s a big one

and this is a big one so they actually

you know they work really well as well

but it’s also that positive affirmation

you want people to agree with you so you

look at them and you Nodge your head I

can tell you right now if you’re looking

at the audience going like this they’re

not going to look back at you

go they’re going to they’re going to nod

with you as well cuz you’re really

trying to get them on board with what

you’re saying our other big one is what

we call par Linguistics all the

properties of the voice the tone the

pitch the volume even things like a

pause in what you’re saying this is so

important you know when I talked about

my father dying I didn’t say oh yeah my

father died that day I was really sad

and he just kept going I slowed it right

down you could hear it in my voice this

is where the emotion comes from and then

at the end when I said he died there was

this pause there anyone who’s felt that

or you know you’re reflecting on it that

pause is communicating so much it’s a

nice steady pace and it keeps the

audience involved with what you’re

actually saying as well so this is

another really good point my final point

for public speaking and again I really

hope you think about this because you

are expert communicators is eye

contact this is what creates trust do

you know what this does it lets people

know that you want them to hear what you

have to say so it actually makes it an

intimate process and it creates trust it

creates warmth and you know this is the

extra actual Rapport that you want to

build with the audience because trust is

everything you want them to believe what

you’re going to

say at this particular point I think I

should wrap up so I really want to say

to you now this is my crusade innovate

the way that you

communicate you are a public speaker you

just don’t realize that you have to move

it from the informal through to the

formal and have a big voice in a small

community thank you very much