Talk to strangers

who knows that you’re here I’m not asking some deeper spiritual or metaphysical question about the nature of existence I want to know about your community footprint I want to know who will realize if you’re not where you’re supposed to be right now you’re not at home you’re not at work you’re not in class you’re not sitting at your favorite Cafe I recently met a woman in Southeast DC named Miss Janet she’s The Unofficial mayor of her neighborhood when she has she offers when she needs she asks she’s the kind of person who you realize when she is around but more importantly when she isn’t we met as she was on the men from the flu she’d been stuck at home for two days and she told me that during the course of those two days over a dozen neighbors came to knock on her door saying Miss Janet I haven’t seen you around is everything okay now let me ask you if you didn’t leave your house for two days would anybody come knocking would anybody even notice what about a week a month for for too many years I lived as an absentee citizen of the city I was one of the far too many overeducated policy wonks who could speak at length about problems and policies in far off corners of the world but I didn’t know the name of my own neighbors or the failing Public Schools down the street from our house you see we transients come and go we’re temporarily here to work for round against even sometimes to shut down the government and when we’re not America in we bike and brunch and make plans for Life After Washington and to understand Washington is to understand a city of infinite divisions from the transient point of view because we’re black and white and rich and poor Republican Democrat Northwest versus everyone else jumbo versus normal slice of pizza and to understand the district the district not Washington one need only understand our Larger than Life mayor for life Mary and Barry and so as we transients do we ask each other those two typical Washington questions but what do you do and where are you from and while they’re both particularly loathsome the one that I’ve always found most offensive is that second one where are you from because in a transient City filled with transient people there’s an assumption that no one is actually from here and so when you do meet that occasional person who was born in DC it’s like meeting somebody born at Epcot Center it’s like oh I had no idea that people were actually from here well yes people are from here 623,000 to be exact and many of them go proudly back in the city for generations and this is amazing to me because as a New Yorker you see how the world wants to be New Yorkers I mean you move to Manhattan and two days later you’re wearing a Yankees hat and you’re yelling at tourists who walk slowly down the street here you live here for 10 years and you still Define yourself as being from somewhere else but um you know the thing about being in the district is that now I can say these things to you openly and honestly when I moved here in 2006 I moved to Brooks brother stand we were you know that beautiful spectrum of grade in navy blue suits friends that make social plans 10 weeks in advance for three and a half years I was a terrorist financing Analyst at the department of the treasury I looked at how terrorists raise and move money around the world one of these important national security jobs where the positives are the absence of the negatives and for three and a half years I woke up to NPR’s morning addition and I would shower and shave and get on the S bus to get off at front of the White House and then walk over to treasury spend my day in suits and with suits and when I was done I would go to the gym and have meet some friends for dinner maybe go out go home go to sleep and repeat that was my Washington and then something changed in July of 2009 I was at a Whole Foods I was slightly less corduro suit version of myself right now I’m there with an iPhone and I’m looking for heirloom tomatoes as we do and while I had been to that place and in that scenario so many times this was the first time that I actually I looked up and I looked around and when I looked up and I looked around let me tell you what I saw I saw that I was everyone I was everyone we all had suits we all had gym bags and yoga mats we were all on our iPhones as we were massaging overpriced produce we grew up in the same neighborhoods we went to the same schools we moved to DC for the same reasons and now we even lived in the same neighborhoods yet not only could we not acknowledge how similar we were we didn’t acknowledge each other at all you’re standing next to somebody who’s so similar to you you don’t say hi you don’t smile you say nothing at that moment I realized if I can’t connect with the people in this world who are so similar to me what hope do I have of connecting with those who are not like me I had a panic attack first time in my life shortness of breath feeling that the world was closing in on me I mean there I am surrounded by people buying the same quinoa listening to the same podcast of This American Life and yet I’m alone I’m so alone in this community of mes I I dropped everything I ran home and the whole time I’m aware of all these other mies in the city we’re riding fixed gear bikes we’re drinking double espressos we’re inquiring ing to the pedigree of the kale at the Farm to Table restaurant that night I told myself I I never wanted to feel that way again I never wanted to feel so alone and disconnected from my city and my neighborhood I made a commitment that night every day I was going to interview a stranger didn’t know why it seemed like a good idea certainly didn’t seem like a bad idea and that’s where people’s District came from I started a Blog where every day I was going to tell the story of a stranger in his or her own words at the time I’d never heard of studs turkle The Godfather of oral history or met this wonderful community of storytellers and oral historians who would later ask me about my archiving process in methodology listen I had no methodology no archiving process no nothing I was just desperately in search of anything to avoid this terrible plague of connectivity shock that seems to be taking over our cities this one in particular that first day I took out my camera I bought a Dictaphone and I set out to go meet meet my city one neighbor at a time Joe was the first interviewee he was sitting on a mill crate outside of the Howard Theater I went over and told him about my panic attack and desire to meet the city he sort of smiled at me sympathetically pulled up a mil crate invited me to sit down next to him he never asked me if I was with the Washington Post or the New York Times he was just happy that someone was interested he went on to tell me about growing up in a segregated City and how happy he was that things had changed after Joe came Carolyn the crossing guard on my street John the neighborhood Hustler Bia the owner of the local cafe and belis the black Elvis you all know these people you do the neighborhood celebrities no matter where you live we all have them the Busker the neighborhood knowt all the homeless guy in a corner the teenagers who hang out after school the beop living so far away from my family in New York I saw these people more often than my own relatives and I knew nothing about them not even their name I would just assume that they would safely take me to work in the morning or I would come home and my neighborhood would be clean these were the people I wanted to meet these were the stories I aimed to capture on people’s district and so starting in July of 2009 every day for three and a half years I set out to almost every neighborhood in the city to meet a stranger and imagine the incredible things you can learn when you actually ask them while tor the Lincoln Monument with her slaves mistress de Anana a preacher’s daughter from Whitefish Montana turned DC area dominatrix told me how this is the best city in the world to do what she does in a back Alleyway in Northeast twin a former gang member told me about that night when she was shot and left for dead outside of Union Station Lee a former homeless vet told me about the time when he met a visiting family who had Lo had everything stolen at Union Station and how it was Lee a homeless man who gave the jacket and the clothes off his own back so that the children would have something warm to wear while some people said no most said yes while some people gave me a few minutes because they’re so busy others sat with me for hours and again imagine the incredible things you can learn about a city when you ask those who know it best what a garbage man understands about a city based on what it throws away how a mailman walking the same route for 25 years sees a neighborhood slowly change over time and how a four-year-old so beautifully believes that she can stop any problems that would come to her neighborhood by simply offering to punch every problem in the face you know we live in this age now where with social media and smartphones it’s so easy to tell our own story but there’s something incredibly rewarding when you can take these tools and help others to share their stories especially the stories that we don’t hear all that often inspired by the best of people’s District I set out to do more I brought storytelling programs into the DC public school system to help kids tell their stories I launched Citywide storytelling campaigns about everything from Seduction on Valentine’s Day to memory on 9911 I started hosting storytelling nights in furniture stores I became obsessed with conversation deserts you know those places where you stand next to somebody awkwardly the bus stop the elevator and I started putting talking points there with the hope that people would actually start talking to each other and over the years I’ve received countless number of emails from people who are inspired to go out of and meet a stranger connect with their Community the woman in the Palisades who after so many years of living on the same block with the same nameless neighbors finally invited them all over for a potluck dinner the K Street attorney who after reading a story of a girl in needed anacosta reached out to be her mentor and to the scores of people in other cities who went out to start their own storytelling projects like the incredible people of DC these are the stories that inspire me the people who just needed that spark that’s social okay to go off and talk to a stranger and meet their community and to everybody else I simply hope that people’s district is a lens into a different kind of Washington than you’re used to as a native New Yorker I now proudly call Washington my home and you know what we’re not only political bickering and government shutdowns we’re not only museums and fourth grade classes ours is a Soulful city with a rich tradition of Arts culture and history and we’re a city that struggles with an identity crisis that’s caused in large part by the semi-functioning senators and representatives that all of America votes for to come and live in our neighborhoods and when I think about the problems in this city or the other cities that I work with I look at them through that same lens because you see gentrification was never meant to be a topic of discussion on a Blog with this volley of vitriol between Anonymous avatars if you want to understand gentrification you go talk to Miss Taylor who sees how the changes in her neighborhood make it safer for her to walk back and forth to the supermarket and also talk to BJ because those same changes mean that he’s not been priced out of the home that he grew up in I can’t tell you how enriching my life is every day by being fluent in my community I can sit on my stoop and catch up with my neighborhood I know where the hidden parking spots are around the corner I know which carry out will give you extra portions if you ask nicely I know which elderly neighbors to check in on when the weather gets bad and all this comes from Simply talking to strangers no I don’t mean the white van unwrapped candy kind I mean The Familiar Faces in your everyday the extras or maybe even the supporting cast in the movie of your life look there’s no secret here that I’m not suggesting some big Tech disruption or some huge policy change you don’t even have to go start your own people’s District or be the next dud Circle I’m asking that you be more present and you be more aware I’m asking that you think about who the exors are in the movie of your life I’m asking that you introduce yourself to your neighbors I’m asking that instead of saying what do you do and where you from you ask people meaningful questions and you pay attention to the answers I’m asking that you pay attention to elderly or in need people who live in your community and you occasionally offer to take care of them and just do something and do something because you never know when you may need something from or be able to help somebody and do it do something because we’re not meant to feel so alone and disconnected in this world and yes do it so you’ll have more interesting stories of your own to tell you see we live in this digitally enhanced generation where no one asks us to fight for anything causes are meant to be liked on Facebook wars are watched on 24-hour news I choose to fight for Community years ago I left my job at the treasury to take this commun to take this fight to community near and far from Baltimore to Berlin inspire ired by the best of people’s district and using everything from storytelling to the dinner table I’m obsessed with bringing people together creating those social Locas so that you can turn to somebody and say something and inspired by everything I do e everything is a belief in the infinite possibilities that come from talking to strangers from meeting my wife on the beach in Tel Aviv two years ago to leaving my job at the treasury to be a Storyteller five years ago I can credit my life’s greatest accomplishments to simply talking to strangers and now I challenge you whether you’re sitting in this room right now or you’re watching this at some point in the future just turn to the person next to you and say something comment on the weather introduce yourself offer a compliment say something and then say it again tomorrow and the day after that now go off and talk to strangers because it may just change your life thank you