Breaking the Habit of Smalltalk | Omid Scheybani | TEDxKish

On a sunny morning in Guatemala, Omid steps into a taxi on his way to a client meeting. As he prepares for work, the driver tries to make small talk, asking the same predictable questions Omid hears all around the world: where he is from, what he does, and, of course, what he thinks about the weather.

Because of his work, Omid has had the chance to travel widely and meet people from many cultures. Yet, whether he is talking to a taxi driver in Guatemala, a barista in Sydney, or a photographer in London, the opening questions almost always sound the same and push the conversation toward what he calls predictable superficiality.

Everything changes when he attends a Conversation Gala, a social experiment with one simple rule: you are not allowed to ask anything that could be found on the other person’s Facebook profile. To help guests, the host provides handwritten question cards that invite people to talk about karma, family, scars, regrets, and memories instead of job titles and hometowns.

Using these cards, Omid spends the evening having unusually deep conversations with complete strangers. They talk about childhood, family values, fears, and the things that get them out of bed in the morning. By the end of the night, he barely remembers people’s names or jobs, but he clearly remembers their stories, their relationships, and their biggest regrets.

Later, he discovers that this event was based on research showing that meaningful conversations increase happiness and well-being, not because they are always positive, but because they help us find more meaning in our own lives. Still, in daily life, most of us default to small talk even when we know it is not fulfilling, just like we still text while driving or procrastinate on projects.

Omid argues that every person is a treasure box of memories, challenges, and dreams. Treating first meetings like museum visits where we only stare at our phones makes us miss the chance to open those treasure boxes. Instead, he suggests that we approach new people with childlike curiosity, ask better questions, and dare to leave the safety of small talk.

He shares how asking a barista about his passion for coffee leads to a story about a five-generation family tradition. Asking a photographer which picture holds the deepest memories reveals that it was taken the last day he lived on the streets as a homeless person. Asking a taxi driver what made him happy that day opens a story about his wedding anniversary and how he first met his wife in his cab.

All of these conversations begin with small talk, but they do not stay there. By gently shifting the focus toward motivations, memories, and emotions, Omid shows that we can create powerful, memorable connections with almost anyone we meet. In the end, he invites us to see every stranger as a friend we have not met yet and to use conversations as bridges that increase cross-cultural understanding and genuine human connection.